Top Parenting Tips

Bangalore 30-Aug-2008: Fisher Price MotherHood Seminar:

Fisher Price in Coordination with Forum Landmark,Bangalore Organized a seminar to the Parents. This was very useful to the Mothers and Mothers-to-be.

Chief Guest(s)

Dr. Nandini Nagar
MBBS (Bangalore), DCH (Mangalore), DNB (Paed),
Fellowship in NICU (Australia)
Consultant Neonatologist and Paediatrician
With over 4 years of experience in Australia

What is MotherHood?

There is no limit to what can be considered motherhood. Motherhood can bring joy greater than anything you’ve ever known, but unfortunately the same can be said for pain and sorrow. When your child is hurting, you hurt far worse. When your child is happy, you practically cry from joy yourself. Motherhood heightens the emotions we feel and explodes the limits of what we think is possible in life. There are truly no limits.

Purpose of the Seminar:

This Seminar that helped to magnify the importance of the mother's role in the early childhood training and also help today's millennium moms to give the possible start to their baby.

Agenda of the Seminar:

1) Introduction
2) Advantages of Breast Feeding
3) Bottle Feeding Basics
4) Newly Born Care
5) How to become a baby lovable and affectionate
6) Proper Usage of Toys given to Baby
7) How to get a baby for good habits
8) usage of reading stories and singing rhymes for kiddies
9) teaching measures for the baby
10) Medicines which should given for the baby
11) After pregnancy care for the mother

Question session:

1)Is bottle feeding is advisable after a new teeth riseup?
Answer: It is not advisable a bottle feed after a new teeth,we can give them in a glass or sipper.

2)Is Brushing is advisable after a pair of teeth riseup?
Answer: Yes Advisable,we can use the Glows with smooth Bristles.

3) What is the minimum time the baby can continue with the Breast feeding?
Answer: The Maximum time is between 20-30 Minutes.

4) How to caring a baby?
Answer: Caring baby is an Art.The key points are :

Handle the baby very smoothly
Do not stop the baby immediately while crying and embrass the baby.
Make your baby comfortable

5)Is it safe to have the Nappy to Baby?
Answer: It is not advisable but there is no other way to keep like that.

6) Do we have to examine often Nappy?
Answer: Not required.We can leave the Nappy upto 7 Hours.If the Nappy is filled with latrine , remove immediately.

Mother Hood Pack

Mother Hood Pack has been given by Fisher Price in Coordination with Forum Landmark,Bangalore. That pack includes:

1) Teether
2) Mother and Baby Magazine
3) Slam book for Kids
4) Fisher Price Demo Book
5) Bag to have everything
6) Play Book
7) CAP

Conclusion: It was very useful for Mother and baby who have participated. People will be getting useful information's with the seminar.Advice to conduct often like this seminar.

Article Presented by:
Udhaya Surendran
Participant of the Seminar.

Labels: MotherHood_Seminar

Overprotective Parents



Is my child safe?

Sonali Sharma will not send her eight-year old son on the school bus because she has heard that the bus drivers drive rashly. Preeti Mishra does not allow her twelve-year old daughter to sleep over at her friends’ houses because she feels that she is not sure if other parents will provide adequate supervision. Lynn D’Souza says she gets the jitters every time her son climbs onto the jungle gym in the park because she is convinced he will fall and hurt himself. Mukesh Mehta did not allow his daughter to go on a school picnic to the beach for fear that she may drown.

When a child is born, it seems so fragile, feeble and tiny that it is only natural for parents to feel fiercely protective. Parents feel responsible for these tiny creatures that they have brought into the ‘big, bad world’ and intend to be their guardian angels for the rest of their lives. Parents want to shield their children from all conceivable harm, but for how long and to what extent? Parents need to remember that children do grow up. They cannot expect their children to hold ‘mummy or daddy’s’ hand forever as they make their way through life. Children do not tiptoe through life, they romp, they run, they jump, and they explore. Given this scenario, parents should accept that scratches, cuts, bruises, and broken limbs are all a part of childhood. Parents who constantly run interference between their children and the real world are actually doing more harm than good.


Inappropriate fears

This does not mean that children are the best judges of the risk involved in any activity or that parents should not be cautious. But how does a parent know if he or she is being unnecessarily fearful for his or her child’s safety? Parents who view every physical activity as being potentially dangerous; those who only feel reassured when their children are under their watchful eyes; those who are more anxious than their children that something will go wrong; those who hover over their children constantly giving instructions; those who rule out all activities that have an even remote possibility of resulting in an accident; those who feel that their children cannot cross a road without being run over or go out alone without being abducted are parents who could be said to have inappropriate fears.


Downsides of being Overly Protective

Parent’s fears for their children’s safety, if extreme, can have an adverse effect on their children’s confidence and self-esteem. By molly-coddling a child, a parent is only making the child more dependent and inhibiting her attempts to learn to do things by herself. Overprotective parents unintentionally send out a message to their children that they are incapable of handling things by themselves. In addition, the parents’ fears transmit themselves to the children who, in turn, begin to perceive dangers lurking in every new activity and experience. It has been observed that children have fewer falls, tumbles and injuries when left to play by themselves than with parents constantly cautioning them, and ready to leap forward at the slightest sign of danger. Parents who fear that an activity may be risky should warn their children beforehand rather than while they are engaged in the activity. Else, the warnings merely serve to transmit the fear to the children and distract them, leading to a greater probability of an accident.

When a child does something on her own for the first time, it is a great accomplishment, even if it is something as insignificant as learning to ride a bicycle. Parents who wrap their children in cotton wool, in a manner of speaking, are denying their children this pleasure.


Over-protectiveness with older children

Older children most often do not perceive parental overprotectiveness as stemming from love and concern. They believe that their parents just do not trust them to be sensible and responsible. Older children can react to their parents’ excessive fear in one of two ways: compliance or resistance. If parents voice their fears in terms of doubts, e.g. “Are you sure you can do it?” or give them dire warnings of the worst case scenario, it can result in the children giving up the idea or activity altogether because they too begin to doubt their capability. On the other hand, children can react with defiance.

Parents of such children begin to lack credibility in their children’s eyes because they seem to have an extreme view that the world in general is a dangerous place. They feel that they are denied the normal pursuits of their peers merely because their parents have unfounded and baseless fears. Such children react with resistance because they believe that their parents perceive them as being accident-prone and having poor judgement.


How to be less overprotecting: Establishing lines of communication

Overprotective parents should change their attitude if they want their children to grow up as independent, confident adults. If a parent suspects that he is excessively protective, fearful and inhibiting, then as a first step, he should confirm his doubt by asking the other parent for an opinion. In the case of a single parent, he can share his concerns with someone equally concerned for the child’s welfare or even other parents. This will act as a reality check. While he need not adopt other people’s opinions as gospel truth, the advice and information will help him make an informed decision about what is safe for his child.

The second step he should take is listen to his child. He should try to convey to his child that his caution stems from concern for the child’s safety and not from a lack of trust in the child’s competence. He could discuss the dangers of the activity with the child and advise him what to do in case of an emergency. He should make judgements based on an assessment of the child’s overall competence and judgement.

Despite adopting these measures, there may still be several occasions where a parent may still deny his child permission to participate in an activity. But this is a parent’s prerogative and has the weight of experience and superior judgement behind it. What is safe and acceptable for one child may not be so for another. At the end of the day, parents are the best judges of what activities are acceptable for their children in terms of safety. However, the child will realize that while she may be denied this particular pleasure, there will be other activities that will be permissible. What is safe and acceptable will always be a bone of contention between parents and children, but the important thing is for parents to realize that sometimes they just need to let go.

Labels: OverParenting_Parents

9 Steps to More Effective Parenting

Raising children is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world and the one for which you may be the least prepared. Learning “on the job” how to be a parent can be fraught with pitfalls. As advocates for children , we at the Dupont Hospital for Children want to help you raise healthy and happy children. Here are some ways to tackle your child-rearing responsibilities that will help you feel more fulfilled as a parent, and enjoy your children more, too.

1.Nurture your child’s self esteem

Children start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through your eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression is absorbed by your child. Your words and actions as parents affect your child’s developing self-image more than anything else in his world. Consequently, praising your child for his accomplishment, however small, will make him feel proud; letting him to do things for himself will make him feel capable and independent. By contrast, belittling your child or comparing him unfavorably to another will make him feel worthless.

Avoid making loaded statement or using words as a weapons: “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” Comments like these bruise the inside of a child as much as blows the outside. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your child know that everyone makes and that while you may not like his behavior. You still love him.

2.Catch your child being good

Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your child in a given day? You may find that you are criticizing far more than you are complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance?

The more effective approach is to catch your child doing something right, and praise her to the skies. “You made your bed without being asked-that’s terrific!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient!” These statements will do more to encourage good behavior over the long run than repeated scolding. Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards-your love, hugs and compliments can work wonders and are often rewards enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behavior you would like to see.

3.Set limits and be consistent with your discipline

Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors. Children may test the limits you establish for them but they need limits to grow into responsible adults. Establishing house rules might include: homework is to be done before any television privileges are granted, or hitting, name-calling and hurtful teasing are unacceptable.

You may want to have a system in place: one warning, followed by consequences such as “time out” or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents makes is failure to follow through with consequence when rules are broken. A rule without consequences is not a rule at all-it’s a threat. You can’t discipline a child for talking back one day, and ignore it the next. Being consistent sets an example of what expect from our children.

4.Make time for your children

With so many demands on your time, it’s often difficult for parents and children to get together for a family meal, let alone spend some quality time together. However, there is probably nothing your child would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Children who are not getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they are assured of being noticed. Many parents find it mutually rewarding to have prescheduled time with their child on a regular basis. For instance, tell your child Tuesday is her special night with Mommy and let her help decide how you will spend your time together. Look for ways to connect with your child without actually being there-put a note or something special in her lunchbox.

Adolescents seem to need the undivided attention of their parents less than younger children. Since there are fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teen to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities.

Don’t feel too guilty if you’re a working parent. Quantity is not nearly as important as what you do with the bits and pieces of time you have with your child. It is the many little things you do together-making popcorn playing cards and window-shopping that your child will remember.

5.Be a good role model

Young children learn a great deal about how to act by watching you. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want him to behave when he’s angry? Be constantly aware that you are being observed by your children. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home.

Instead, model the traits you whish to cultivate in your child; respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward, such as taking dinner to sick neighbor. Express thanks; offer compliments. Above all, treat your children the way you expect other people to treat you.

6.Make communication a priority

You can’t expect children to do everything simply because you, as parents, “say so.” Children want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don’t take time to explain, children will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their children allow them to understand and learn in a non-judgmental way.

Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it to your child, express your feelings about it and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choice. Be open to your child’s suggestions as well. Negotiate with her. Children who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.

7.Be flexible and willing to adjust your parenting style

If you frequently feel “let down” by your child’s behavior, it may be because you have unrealistic expectations for her. Parents who think in “should”, e.g., “She should be potty-trained by now”, may find it helpful to do more reading on the matter or talk to other parents or child development specialists. This may enable you to adjust your expectations to a more realistic level.

The environment in which your child moves also has an impact on her behavior. For example, you may be able to modify your 2-year-old’s behavior by changing her environment. If you find yourself constantly saying “NO” to her, there are surely ways to restructure her surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause les frustration for both of you.

As your child changes, you will probably have to change your parenting style, too. Many parents find it helpful at some point to draw up a “kiddie contract” to encourage good behavior and motivate their child. This can be as simple as a weekly list of chores and responsibilities posted on the refrigerator. Chances are, what works with your child now won’t work forever.

Teenagers tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for examples of how to be. Continue to provide guidance and appropriate discipline while allowing your child to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection!

8.Show your love is unconditional

As a parent, you are responsible for correcting and guiding your child. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how your child receives it. When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing or faultfinding, which undermine his self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage even when you are disciplining your child. Make sure he knows that while you want and expect him to do better next time, you love him-no matter what.

9.Be aware of your own needs and limitations as a parent

Face it you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize your abilities, “I’m loving and dedicated”. Vow to work on your weaknesses. “I need to be more consistent with discipline”. Try to have realistic expectations of yourself, your spouse and your children. You don’t have to have all the answers be forgiving of yourself. And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you’re burned out. Take time out from parenting to do thing that will make you happy as a person and as a couple. Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being. Which is another important value to model for your children.

Labels: Effective_Parenting

60 Ways To Say ‘Well Done’





That’s super

Spot on

I like it

Super stuff

Really great

What a good try

Brilliant

Clever (boy/girl)

I’m impressed

What a brainwave

You do work well

Very imaginative

Nice try

That’s good work

Superb

Well remembered

Good logic

Excellent work

Good thinking

You’re a star

You are doing well

Great try

Quick thinking

Well done

Well figured out

I like that

Congratulations

You are doing great

You’ve done really well

Keep on trying

You show real promise

You have great ideas

You’ve mastered it

Well thought out

You’ve fitted a lot in

How imaginative you are

Good problem solving

What a perfect example

Well worked through

I’m very proud of you

I’m proud of your work

You are really tuned into work today

It’s a pleasure to see you work like that.

One more attempt and you’ll be there

You’re work is improving

You are a pleasure to teach

Beautiful job

That’s good thinking

A very good try

You learn quickly

You’ve got the hang of it

You’ve done better than ever

That’s a fine attempt

You’re a problem solver

I couldn’t have done better myself

You soon mastered that

You really stuck with it

You don’t give up

You’ve got that down to a fine art

Labels: Wordings_with_Childrens

Top 10 Successful Parenting Tips

It is important that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our children internally, to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved. If our children are disciplined in this respect, they will not have a need to turn to gangs, drugs, or sex to feel powerful or belong.

The following ten keys will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.

1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)

Your child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. If we don't give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.

It is also important to recognize that feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. So when your child says to you, "Mommy, you never spend time with me" (even though you just played with her) she is expressing what she feels. It is best at these times just to validate her feelings by saying, "Yeah, I bet it does feel like a long time since we spent time together."

2 - Use Action, Not Words

Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, "What action could I take?" For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.

3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful

If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.

4 - Use Natural Consequences

Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don't bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.

5 - Use Logical Consequences

Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if you return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.

6 - Withdraw from Conflict

If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.

7 - Separate the Deed from the Doer

Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't that you don't like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child's self-esteem?

8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time

Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn't dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?

9 - Parent with the End in Mind

Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.

10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through

If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.

Labels: Top10_ParentingTips

The Stages of Labor:



The stages of labor are commonly broken down into three main phases. This is misleading, however, in that the first stage is comprised of three sub-phases and is what most people identify as labor. Stage I consists of early labor, active labor and transition. Stage II is the pushing stage and Stage III is the birth of the placenta.


It is common practice to define the phases of Stage I by the degree of cervical dilation and length of each contraction. However, these are truly poor indicators of how a labor will progress. This is because dilation doesn't usually occur in a completely linear fashion. In other words, your cervix may go from 1 to 4 centimeters dilated, skipping all the degrees in between. Your contractions may resemble those seen in transition while you are only 3 centimeters dilated and you could be holding that baby only minutes later.


I can personally attest to the fact that women can go from 4 centimeters to full dilation in mere minutes (been there, done that - twice). Always remember that the focus should be on you as a person, the mother as a whole, and not just your cervix. It's the same principle that applies when a nurse or doctor relies too heavily on machines when one glance at a mother's ashy skin and ragged breathing should tell them that something is seriously wrong. Only after she or the baby goes into distress do they realize that the machines were mal-functioning.


In the case of a homebirth, most mothers do not submit to cervical checks since they provide little useful information and are poor predictors of labor progression. In these cases, the care provider more accurately relies on their powers of observation to judge your progress through the stages of labor. Some mothers will even push their babies out never having known how many centimeters they are dilated. Instead, they wait for an uncontrollable urge to push to tell them its time rather than an arbitrary cervical check.


But because most medical personnel are fixated on using dilation to judge progress through the initial stages of labor, I will present the common terminology for the stages of labor so that you will be able to speak a common language with them in regards to the progression of your birthing:


Stage I

EARLY

Early labour takes up the majority of your birthing experience. It is characterized by contractions that are regular but may not be very close together or last very long. The contractions maybe 10 minutes apart and last only 30-45 seconds. This is the most comfortable of the stages of labor and gives you a chance to ease into the process. In this phase, you are usually dilated up to a maximum of 4 centimeters.


ACTIVE

Active labor is more intense with longer, stronger, more intense contractions that may be 3-5 minutes apart and last up to 60 seconds. This is the beginning of the serious phase, where relaxation comes into play and the birth companion’s role becomes greater. Dilation is usually from 5-7 centimeters.


TRANSITION

Transition is by far the most challenging, although the shortest, phase of birthing. This is when you might begin to feel overwhelmed and your focus might falter. This is the phase usually depicted in the media. These contractions are stronger and longer and finish dilating the cervix. They usually last 90-120 seconds with breaks of about a minute or two in between. Generally this phase only last for 30 minutes to 2 hours. You may also experience a time distortion in this phase that makes it seem to go more quickly. You may not remember much of this period after the birth. You may feel out of focus and a bit foggy here. Nausea can also set in as well as involuntary painless shaking from the intensity. You are especially vulnerable to suggestion here, which can be used for good or evil.


Stage II- Pushing

The pushing stage the second phase of labor, begins once you've dilated to 10 centimeters. This will end with the much-anticipated birth of the baby. This stage can last a few minutes or several hours. In a natural birth, the pushing phase is typically much shorter than in a medicated one. Contrary to any rumors you may have heard, such as the "ring of fire", this is probably the most empowering part of the experience and can be the most motivating and comfortable. You know you will be holding that baby in just a short time and that thought is all the motivation you need.


Pushing is usually much more manageable than transition. The pushing contractions are of a different variety than those you have previously experienced. You will feel your body pushing independent of any extra effort on your part. Remember, this is exactly what is supposed to happen. Your body will birth your baby best when you let it. True “pushing” is rarely required. The best course of action is to let your body be your guide. Don’t push until you feel the urge to do so. Just because you’re 10 cm dilated doesn't mean you have to push. It will be a waste of time and effort. That is also how complications start, including fetal distress, malpositioning, pulled ligaments and shoulder dystocia. If you find that you have a lull in contractions, feel free to let the baby drift down on its own. This saves energy for you and the baby. It also makes for a slow, controlled delivery with less chance of tearing and can eliminate the "ring of fire" that means your body is stretching very quickly.



Stage III - The Placenta Delivery

When you've got your babe in your arms, the last of the stages of labor, the placenta delivery, often gets neglected, but it begins with the birth of the baby and ends with the arrival of the placenta. On average it takes about 20 minutes for the placenta to detach from the uterine wall, although it can be longer without complications.


The placenta will detach from the uterine wall and be expelled through the birth canal. Your care provider will be able to tell that your placenta is ready to detach by a small gush of blood or a lengthening of the cord.


The most important thing to realize is that it is not enough to just recognize the stages of labor: you must know exactly how to handle each stage as it comes. By becoming familiar with the unique qualities of each stage, you can eliminate your anxiety about giving birth. When your labour starts, you will be fully prepared to face each step along the way to holding your newborn baby.

Labels: Stages-of-Labor